A Mass Of Feelings
by Animaddie
Summary: Yeah . . . If I were ever to say 'Don't judge a story by it's title' it would be now. Ichigo and Rukia are casually messing around in his room, until one moment changes their conversation to something much deeper. Credits to: Tite Kubo, Green day, Moulin Rouge, Pirates of the Caribbean and Cher (I like music, shoot me :P ) T just in case


**Okay, so this was meant to be so different when I planned this, granted it wasn't planned much, and after the first 1000 words, my brain just kind of spewed everything else out xD I guess that's what happens when you listen to music when you're attempting to write a story, no matter how unlike the music is to the story your writing. Either way, please, if you read this, bear with it. It IS IchiRuki, I just like suspense :P **

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Sometimes, you've just got to go with the flow . . .

"ICHIGOOOOO!"

A quick slam of a door, a, bounce and a sudden feeling of flying in mid air, told Ichigo Rukia had just jumped onto his bed so forcefully, he'd fallen face-first onto the floor.

"uuuggghh, what the-" His question was quickly cut off as he felt himself launch up, and back into a seated position, now facing a relatively red-cheeked, out of breath, messy-haired Rukia, grinning manically at him.

"Oh God, what have you eaten now?" He said, eyeing, Rukia. The last time he had seen her like this, she had just drank her way through four red Bulls, and munched her way through about Seven 'Wham' chewies.

"Shush stupid, I have been listening to this strange contraption called an 'eye-patch' it emits music into your ears through this funny hairband you put on your ears, and it sounded BRILLIANT, Chad said he'd downloaded a load of tracks onto it for me – I don't know what that exactly means – but it's AMAZING, I feel so lively! The little screen, says the one I've just listened to a band called 'Green Day' and they are AMAZING, Ichigo can we go see them? Canwecanwecanwecanwecanwe?!"

She continued this fast paced rambling, jumping up and down on Ichigo's bed, until, he finally managed to squeeze in;

"Never in a million years!"

Rukia stopped abruptly at this, her face going pale.

"What. Did. You. Just. Say?"

"As IF he showed you THAT awful, embarrassing wretch of a 'band' that even dares to call itself Punk!" He exclaimed, slamming his fist on his desk.

"That band is ruddy awful, at least pick a better sodding band than that!" He offered

"I mean, their old stuff isn't as bad, but they've gone all mainstream, and conformist and everything, its utter shite what they produce now!"

Rukia began to look sad

"But, they're amazing, there's this song, it's off an al-bumned called 'Nimrod'! He said it's one of the better songs, at Least let me show it to you!"

Ichigo looked quizzically at Rukia

"Hmm, 'Nimrod' you say?"

"Yes!" She exclaimed looking hopeful

"Mmmmnnn, fine. Plug it in" He passed her a lead connecting to his Hi-Fi.

"YAY! You won't regret it, I promise!" She beamed. And at that moment, all Ichigo could do was nod, and try to hide his face, for some reason, whenever she smiled at him like that, his insides would turn to mush, his face would grow hot, and he couldn't form words.

"Hmmnn"

Rukia quickly plugged in the 'Eye-patch' And Turned to press play. Ichigo, quickly grabbed her arm

"Hang on, which song is it?" he posed

"Oh, it's called 'King For A Day!" She gleamed, leaving Ichigo to become frigid.

'K-KING FOR A DAY?!'

"And CHAD recommended this to you?"

"Oh yes, he said, he related to it a lot, and thought you might too Ichigo" She beamed at him

" . . .WHAT?!"

"What's got your knickers in a twist? It's amazing!" She fangirled

"IT'S A SONG ABOUT TRANNIES AND BISEXUALITY!" *Cue table flip*

"THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM GOING TO LISTEN TO THAT SONG!" *Cue, his no-more-discussion-arm-thing*

10 Minutes later . . .

"I WANT-YOU-TO-KNOW . . ." Ichigo, currently stood on his bed, hands clutched around a brush of Rukia's, face blushed, hair messy, grin on his face, eyes closed, and swinging his hips to the music, was singing. Grabbing his T-Shirt, he carried on.

"I-WANT-YOU-TO-KNO~OW, NOW" Off came the shirt, hips swinging, legs can-caning arm pointing at Rukia

"YOU'VE BEEN SO GO~OD . . ."

Rukia, also extremely hyper, was laughing, blushing and clapping at Ichigo's demonstration (and bare chest)

Just as Ichigo was reaching to his belt, he saw himself in the mirror, gyrating hips, bare chest, arm in the air clutching a hairbrush, cheeks flushed, and smiling. Quickly everything crashed down on him.

He was singing and dancing to 'King For A day' he almost laughed at the irony

'Ha, bet you're loving this aren't you?' he said to his conscience. Just as Rukia realised he'd kind of stopped in mid air, he looked at her, and he noticed her face had a peculiar expression, it was sort of exited, happy, and a bit of another expression he could only imagine as . . .but no, that _couldn't_ be right could it?

"What you looking at, midget?" He teased, jumping to sit back down on his bed. He looked intently at her. His words seemed to have shocked her 'awake' so to speak. She looked back into his eyes, still wearing that expression he couldn't (or didn't think he could) place, he noticed her eyes seemed to be strained onto his face too, although avoiding looking somewhere else . . . very intently

"ha-ha, n-nothing arse, what on earth does your head presume about me?" She scoffed, then, twitched, realising her words had made pretty much no sense, Ichigo grinned. She strained not to blush

"My head presume about you? What on earth do you suppose that means, tiny?" he poked her forehead. She blushed so suddenly, she whipped her head to the side.

"It means what it means m-moron. God, it's like you can't even comprehend normal conversation"

Ichigo grinned more at this, he loved annoying Rukia, she would always blush, and stutter, and try not to look at him, but he always noticed. Her eyes were something he could never seem to get enough of, and he could nearly always read everything she was thinking through them, except, it seemed, now. She kept accidentally revealing an emotion to him now, that he hadn't seen before (well, he'd never _seen_ it before) and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Feeling a boost of confidence (and for some reason, cockiness – that dancing had freed him up a bit -and he felt very comfortable with Rukia anyway) he took hold of her chin, and gently turned her face towards his, looking straight into her eyes.

Rukia felt a shiver travel throughout her body, he'd _touched_ her. Physical contact – unless necessary in the moment – was something she'd never really encountered with Ichigo, but now she felt as if her whole being was on fire. That was until he turned her head. Looking directly into his eyes, Rukia suddenly felt a strange numbing sensation, a gush of air, and then a sudden shaking of her body. Not realising she'd closed them; she opened her eyes to find a very concerned looking Ichigo, boring straight down over her. She then realised their position, she was lying flat-back on the floor, and Ichigo was kneeling over her, with his strong hands gripping her shoulders. His face hovered close to hers

"Rukia, RUKIA , are you okay?!" The words sped out of his mouth. All Rukia could comprehend, however, was how his eyes were as intense as fire looking directly into hers, how his arms were strong and muscly, and how his chest, still bare, was toned and covered in battle scars. There was one particular one that seemed to stand out to her however. She touched it without realising, not noticing Ichigo flinch.

"How did you get _this?" _She whispered, shocked at how deeply he'd managed to injure himself

"Wh-what are you on about?" He mumbled back, still in shock of how much he seemed to react to her finger tracing down his skin

"This scar, what on earth possessed you to put yourself in this kind of danger?" She Gawped, staring at how the scar completely circular, engulfed almost a third of his chest in the middle

"Ah" He grimaced

"That was what I got when we were rescuing Inoue, well, fighting Ulquiorra for the last time – by then Inoue was safe with Ishida - until that is, they came looking for me" He mumbled, putting a hand to his face, covering his eyes

"They were never meant to go up there, never meant to get even remotely close to that fight . . . After what I did to Ishida . . . " He started trembling, covering his eyes with his hair and slamming a fist on the table

"I should've died right when he shot that cero through me, should've died, rather than turn into that, that . . . Thing" His fist clenched on the table

*SLAP*

"Don't you _dare _say that to me Kurosaki Ichigo" Rukia raised her hand as if to slap him across his face again with wild, furious eyes

"Don't you _dare _say you should've died to _me_. Yes your hollow took over, yes it ended up you massacred and enemy, but I know what happened after that. Ishida told me what you said, about chopping off your limbs too, that Kurosaki, is compassion, and you never lost it, even as your enemy died. Sometimes things happen that we can't control, but you were protecting someone very close to your heart and that overwrites this issue about your hollow! When you love someone, your instincts seem to shine through, and yours is a truly strong will to protect that person by any means possible! _That_, Ichigo, is your true flaw. Losing control of something you can barely grasp is _not_ something to be ashamed of!" She glowered, eyes boring into his shocked, grievous face (which had turned to her after her swift outburst)

"But I _killed_ him, Rukia, I _murdered_ him! I could've just escorted everyone out before it got out of hand, or at least _ordered_ Ishida to take her out of that place, to you or to Mayuri, anywhere but there" This time he received a punch to the face.

"_Ordered_ Ishida?! Ichigo are you _that_ stupid? You do not control anyone, you do not have any influence over the actions of others, you do not, even, have the wisdom it seems to stop fighting for other people. Ishida took Inoue to the top of the roof under _her_ request, it would have been better if he hadn't, admittedly, and it is something he truly regrets to this day, he believes it's _his_ fault you turned into the hollow." Ichigo flinched at this

"He . . . blames himself?"

"Yes. To put it quite frankly. He won't admit it to you, but we were talking when you were out from losing your powers, and he told me everything that happened, including what _actually_ made you turn, and no I do not, in the slightest, blame Inoue, it's _your_ fault, for fighting so many pointless battles, and putting a confidence in her about yourself, that leads her to believe you're invincible! What kind of MORON does that?!" But at this, Ichigo got angry

"So you're saying saving Inoue was a mistake?! What the hell, Rukia?!"

"IDIOT! When did I ever say saving her was a mistake?! I was saying recklessly putting your life on the line like that is what causes these horrible situations! Do you KNOW how distraught I-she was when she thought you were dead?! You put such a confidence in her it tore her apart! Protecting someone, in your case, only get's so far before it becomes life-threatening!" She yelled

"You just about throw your life away at the drop of a hat, you don't even seem to care what it does to anyone else! Do you even imagine what Inoue, or Chad, or Tatsuki, your _sisters, _would go through if they found out you died, because you decided to fight anyone that posed a threat to them?! _You_ may think it's something worth dying for, but dying for the sake of someone else, only proceeds to tear that person to pieces!" Rukia steamed, throwing her arm out in frustration, yet Ichigo just became more angry.

"That's rich coming from you, Rukia! You say it's a stupid thing to die protecting your friends from anyone that poses a threat, I seem to distinctly remember a certain Shinigami throwing herself in front of a hollow to protect me, to stop me from dying!" He fumed. Rukia's expression softened, and her hair fell in front of her eyes.

"That was different."

"Oh yeah? How? How was it different? That fact that I was a stranger, is that it?! Well, if you're asking me; that's even more of a stupid idea."

"IT. WAS. DIFFERENT. I'm a Shinigami, dying to protect someone is something I have to be prepared to do! – DON'T butt in! (Ichigo had raised his head, as if to contradict her words) – I – Dying . . . it's something I have been trained to accept ever since I became a Shinigami. Besides, at the time, there was nothing holding me onto 'life' – or whatever it is you have as a Shinigami – Renji and Nii-Sama were the closest I would ever get to forming a bond to someone, but Renji wanted a better life for me, the stupid man, and decided I would be better off with Nii-Sama, and Nii-Sama, he was someone, I believed, knew what the duty of a Shinigami was; To die in battle. Therefore, he never made an attempt to create a relationship, because it would only serve as a hindrance to your job. And then with Kaien-Dono dying from my own cowardice, death wasn't such a frightening prospect at all."

Ichigo paled

"Y-you, mean, you were suicidal?" The thought made him feel physically Ill. His eyes were wide as he tried to comprehend her words

"Rukia, that's . . ."

"I wasn't suicidal. Just, ready for death." Her head lowered

"So, when, when you jumped in front of that hollow, it was to die?!" Ichigo slumped to sit on the floor, Rukia's head whipped up however

"NO! No. If there's anything about that night that I remember, it was wanting to protect you. It was the one moment in which I truly didn't want to die, because it would have meant you would have too. In a way, it was my revelation; a Shinigami is not meant to die in battle, they are meant to protect lives no matter how wounded they are, and to die only when there is no more threat to that person, or people. It's also why I regret everything else about that night." She said, her gaze drifting to the window.

"What?"

"Hm?" Rukia turned to Ichigo

"What do you mean, 'you regret everything else about that night?'" his words were filled with malice, and his eyes were shrouded once again. She grimaced, and looked back out of the window

"Ichigo, I should never have given you them powers that night. _All _of this mess would have been avoided if I had not done that, it was probably the biggest failure I could ever have made."

"WHAT?!FIRST YOU'RE TELLING ME PROTECTING SOMEONE IS RIDICULOUS, AND NOW, GIVING ME POWERS WAS A MISTAKE?!" he glowered at Rukia, now stood up and looking down at her, as she shifted to fold her arms around her legs.

"Yes."

Ichigo was at a loss for words, and just seemed to stand there glowering at her

"Don't you see Ichigo? If I hadn't given you powers, you would never have developed this need to protect people; for a starter, you're human, not a Shinigami and therefore don't have the same excuse to protect someone. Secondly, you have a family, and friends who would be at a loss if you died, and thirdly, if I hadn't given you powers, you would never have had to go through all this pain with your hollow – you wouldn't have lost control over something that was my fault. I should've just killed that hollow with my remaining kido, and you would have been left to live a normal life." She began to tremble, while Ichigo just continued to clench his fist.

"I don't get it Rukia. I don't get what you mean at all. First you tell me I shouldn't protect people because it's stupid, but _you_ can. Then you tell me you should've died rather than give me powers, but I'm not allowed to when I turn into some ravaging monster? And then, then you tell me I should've had a normal life? Well you saw what that did to me! I almost died trying to get my powers back! Yet _YOU_ returned them to me, HOW does that make sense?!"

"YOU DON'T _GET_ IT? Ichigo, it's MY fault! ALL of this! You nearly dying when I went back to soul society! Your hollow! Byakuya almost killing you! Inoue Being Kidnapped! Losing your powers! It's ALL MY FAULT FOR GIVING THEM TO YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE! THE ONLY REASON I RETUNED THEM TO YOU, WAS BECAUSE I KNEW YOU'D DO ANYTHING TO GET THEM BACK! INCLUDING TRUSTING THE WRONG PEOPLE!" She yelled at him

"Don't you see?! If I had just been strong enough to kill that hollow instead of woeing about how Kaien-Dono died, I would've died, taking the hougyokyu with me, and you would never have had to be dragged into all this mess! Everything that's happened since that day is my fault, and I would give anything to rectify it so you could live a peaceful life! Because of me, you won't ever be able to have a normal life, in peace, with Inoue." Rukia finished, lowering her eyes to her knees and shaking.

Ichigo stared at her crushed, shaking form, at a loss. He'd never realised how deeply Rukia had taken this onto herself. He sat down next to her, and without saying a word, pulled her to his side and enveloped his arms around her, placing his chin on the top of her head, she was about to move her head, but Ichigo began to speak, quietly he uttered

"Don't move. I need to put some things straight"

"Ich-"

"Shut-up for a minute, and let me think"

So she did. They stayed in that position, silently, until finally;

"I know I'm not great with words, and I know you won't listen to me, but please, at least hear me when I say; nobody thinks this is your fault Rukia, no-one. Not Inoue, not Chad, not Renji, not Ishida, not Byakuya, not even old-man Yama. And especially not me. If there's anyone who's even close to blame, it's Urahara, but even then he tried to stop anything like this from happening, and it's why no-one blames him. No-one could have predicted what Aizen planned to do. As for me being human? That's only half true. I found out during the Aizen fight, that my father is a Shinigami, he's the one who trained me to use that technique on Aizen. So I do have an excuse to protect people" He smiled, as he heard a small intake of air

"As for my friends and family, yes, it's a lot to protect, and putting my life on the line for them is risky, but I would rather die than 'protect' them whilst being in a state where I could just as easily kill them. That hollow has always been a part of my powers, ever since I awakened my own after losing yours. Just because I gained my powers to save you, does not mean it's your fault my hollow exists. I would gladly deal with him a hundred times over if it meant being able to save any of my friends or family, it just happened to be you that needed saving that time. My Shinigami powers would've come to me eventually anyway, you were just a trigger"

"Bu-"

"And Aizen wanted Inoue because her powers are so intriguing, it only became apparent to him I would do something, after she was taken. I probably would've ended up there anyway, and I think he knew that. It took _me_ some time to realise it, but I wanted to fight Grimmjow, and Ulquiorra, and they knew this even before I did. It took a few triggers before I realised."

"Triggers?"

" Well, the first time it came apparent to me I just wanted to fight them, was when I first struck out at Ulquiorra."

"You mean when he told you that he brought Inoue to Hueco Mundo?"

Ichigo paused lifting his chin off her head

"Well yes, and no . . ."

"Hm?" Rukia looked up to see Ichigo's eyes shadowed by his hair

"It was also the moment when I found out you'd 'died' killing the espada, my reaction to his words, was only brought about from finding that out . . ."

Rukia, rolled her eyes

"Stupid, there was no reason for you to worry about me, Inoue was your priority"

"Only until that moment. If he hadn't provoked me, I would've run straight to you with no second thoughts"

At this, Rukia frowned

"Ichigo, you don't go saving dead people when the person you love is trapped in a gaol"

At these word, Ichigo raised his eyes enough to look straight into Rukia's.

"What is it with you and this 'loving Inoue' stuff? Just because I love her doesn't mean I don't love anyone else."

Rukia's eyes widened

"What?! So you'd two-time her?! Ichigo I thought you were more decent than that!"

"Two-time? What are you on about?! We're not going out!"

"If you both love each other, you may as well be! Don't tell me you've both been oblivious to each other this whole time!"

"Right, WHAT are you on about?!"

"Inoue is in love with you!"

At this Ichigo's eyes widened

"Oh . . . "

"EXACTLY! What are you waiting for?! Go and ask her out!" Rukia shouted. Ichigo lowered his head, not noticing the slight change in expression in Rukia

"Wait . . . So y-you, you wouldn't mind if me and Inoue were to be together?" He mumbled

"Ichigo, if you're in love with her, and she's in love with you, it only makes sense. I have nothing to do with it . . ." again, Ichigo missed the slight strangled tone in some of Rukia's words and let go of her, placing his hands in his lap.

"I see."

"R-right, so, are you going to tell her?" She shivered at the loss of his warmth, and tried to mask her expression, preparing for his answer, no doubt, to go and finally confess his love to Inoue. Deep, deep down, her heart was betraying her, she could feel the sadness and loneliness at the thought of Ichigo being with someone else creep around her heart, but she ignored it. She had decided, after ruining Ichigo's life so much, she would give anything to make sure he was happy, even if it defied every fibre in her being.

"It depends . . ."

"On what?"

"This."

And with that last word, he pulled Rukia into his arms, placed his hands on her face, and pulled her into a heart-stopping kiss, feeling his cheeks burn with excitement, nerves and anticipation. He suddenly felt her hands clasp at his hair, and her lips pressing into his own, returning his feelings with the force of a soul burning with passion. It was something not even his wildest dreams could have hoped for, he slowly pulled away, still holding her face.

"Loving someone doesn't mean you're _in_ love with someone, stupid, she's like my sister." He spoke, cheeks flushed, and then kissed her again, clasping her by the sides, and bringing her closer into him, encircled his arms around her, not wanting to ever let go again.

Rukia was puzzled, what could something this meaningful depend on?

"This"

And all-of-a-sudden she felt herself pulled forward by none other than Ichigo himself, felt his hands rest on her cheeks, and before she could comprehend his unusually vulnerable expression, felt his lips take hold of her own, in a kiss so overwhelmingly emotional, it almost staggered her, she felt every fibre in her being respond, in what could only be a soul-bearing kiss of love, and forgot everything but Ichigo; Inoue, Renji, Byakuya, every thought wiped away before she even realised, and finally, she found the ability to move again, grasping his hair, she responded, pouring her heart into him, for once, not caring of the consequences, all she could think of was Ichigo, his unbelievable strength, his untouchable resolve to fight for anyone he even remotely cared for, how he always knew how to make her feel at some kind of ease, how his eyes would portray every emotion he felt on the inside, how his hand were so strong and sure, yet so gentle, and pulling away . . .

"Loving someone doesn't mean you're _in_ love with someone, stupid, she's like my sister."

Before she could even respond, she felt him grasp her again, pulling her into his, still, bare chest, and kiss her again. And finally she understood. He loved Inoue like she loved Renji, they were close friends, and if anything happened to her, he would be distraught, but he didn't _love_ her not like she loved him. And with this, her heart settled, Inoue would find someone else, after all, this kind of love could only be written between two people, and would never involve anyone else, not in any lifetime. And with that revelation she pulled away from Ichigo's lips, looked deep into his eyes and finally said, what she had needed to for a long time

"I love you, Ichigo."

His only response was a soft, unperturbed smile and an;

"I love you too, Rukia."

END

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**So yeah, cliché 'love' moment much? -_- Either way, I hope you like it, and it filled a little hole :) Thanks for reading it! **


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